HOW TO MEET GUYS from Living a Full Life by MMP, Oogachaga

Here are some ideas on how to meet guys:

GAY VENUES

There are many gay men who love socializing and dancing.  If you are nervous about the bigger lounges, smaller, less intimidating ones such as small karaoke bars are great meeting places too.  Heterosexual clubs are worth a try – many gays go to straight clubs with their straight friends.

INTRODUCTIONS BY FRIENDS

This is actually one of the most recommended ways by many to meet a guy, given that your gay and straight friends / co-workers would know your personality traits and the type you are looking for.  So if your friends are not busy setting you up, ask them to!  And if you don’t fall in love with the ‘referral’, you can at least be friends and expand your social network from there.

COMMUNITY GROUPS OR EVENTS

There are plenty of activity groups or social events for you.  Mature Men Project social events by Oogachaga* or informal social groups like TheBearProject or Rainbower are good places to start with.  Pelangi Pride Centre** has a well-stocked library if you are into reading and keen to look for someone who enjoys a good book.  Pick up a What’s Out Here Guide1 to check out all the gay groups available.  If you cannot find any activity group that suits you, you can form one yourself too.  Post your thoughts in online forums such as Blowingwind*** and get mobilized.

ANYWHERE

As with everything in life, the chance to meet that special one will happen when you least expect it:  in a lift, at a friend’s dinner, whilst you are out walking, in the MRT – or, yes, even at a bus stop, as pointed out by one mature man we spoke to.  The idea is to create as many good opportunities for you to meet someone – preferably in a space that you feel very open and comfortable in.  It is not the event, the space or groups that make the difference but how you cherish each opportunity to socialize.

And remember, finding good things in life takes time.  So be patient, and try not to let a rejection scare you off.  Instead of taking rejection personally, think of it as life protecting you from an unsuitable relationship and consider it as a learning experience that will bring you closer to your ideal partner.  Go on, give it a try.  For more tips on gay dating, down load a copy of Gay Men Dating Survival Guide2.

*Oogachaga is a LGBT affirming counselling and personal development organisation in Singapore which organizes events like support groups and social events.  Oogachaga website: http://www.oogachaga.com/

**Pelangi Pride Centre is a LGBT community space and resource centre in Singapore

***Blowingwind is a website which hosts online forums and is popular with mature Singaporean men.  Blowingwind website: http://www.blowingwind.org/forum/index.php

1What’s Out Here Guide website: http://www.oogachaga.com/whatouthere

2Gay Men Dating Survival Guide website: http://www.oogachaga.com/gaymendatingguide

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